Wednesday, December 5, 2007

It's all relative

Top ten worst things I've heard in the last month:

10) We only have one tube of TGFβ

9) I just saw someone having sex in the park.

8) It appears that, since your neighbor moved in, we have been charging you for her electric bill and vice verse.

7) Your power has been disconnected.

6) Did you authorize 21 charges for $5.06 over the last three days?

5) He finally admitted to me that he did sleep with _____ so I cried for like, one week, and tonight I'm packing up all of his things.

4) I'm not really cut out for anything other a platonic bosom-buddy thing.

3) It will just be a small laser inserted in your anus.

2) There was a fire, barn burned down, all the pigs are gone.

1) While he's taking a nap, I just wanted to let you guys know that he has cancer.

Top ten best things I’ve heard in the last month:

10) I’ll split it with you.

9) It wasn’t anybody I knew.

8) It looks like it will work out in your favor. On average you over paid about $10 each month. You can probably expect a large credit given back to you.

7) Since we never managed to actually disconnect your power we’re not going to charge you anything extra.

6) We will be crediting $385.00 back to your account

5) I’m really doing well now and I can’t wait to see you soon. We make plans okay?

4) Well, it doesn’t matter what he said because I think you’re amazing.

3) There is no blood in your stool.

2) I love you.

1) We found out that they caught it really early so that’s the best news we could have.


AgentChange said...

"There isn't much left," said co-owner Craig Riese, who runs the farm with his wife and his parents. "But what else can you do but get up. We have to move forward. We're still pig farming and will continue."

The cleanup has already begun on the 3,500-acre property, where help started to simply drop by this morning, according to Riese, who was touched by the support.

Transplanted said...

Oh geeze lady. I really am so sorry. At least I know your family is close-knit and strong.