Today has been freakishly warm. 70 degrees or some such craziness. I saw two salamanders on the street. They were moving slowly, waking up to their temporary spring. It's not good for salamanders to wake up in December. It gives them a really strange feeling of unrest, like they left the iron on and can't even find it to turn it off because...well salamanders don't have irons* so you can imagine how discombobulating it must be.
I felt a little the same since I had decided to buy my Christmas tree today. I was sweating by the time I got it into the house and it just didn't feel like the holidays in shorts with the windows wide open. In the future, like next year, we will all celebrate winter holidays by sipping lemonade** in lawn chairs while we roast fresh salamander over an open tar pit. Global warming is starting to freak me out.
I'm still using my whole oven when I want to make one piece of toast.
* Salamanders do not have irons because they do not have clothes or linens. It is not some sort of choice they make to reduce their carbon footprint.
** 'Lemonade' is what we will euphemistically term cool glasses of 'acid rain'.