Don't forget to breath

I woke up this morning and was already on pins and needles. I cried. Not because of school, or the break up, but because today I wish that my grandfather, and grandmother, and my cousin Mgn, and all of my black relatives who died could be here today. I'm scared. I'm hopeful. I'm scared.

Rr called me this morning and we went down to the Fire Station together. We voted. My friend KD sent me text messages about hope, and history. She told me that he would be the first black president of the USA four years ago. I voted for Hillary in the primary. KD and I had fought about it. She called me a chicken then. She might have been right.

I'm a hopeful chicken right now. I'm also sort of frantic. I miss CNK like crazy. I want to talk to him. I want to know what he's thinking about all of this.

My mom sent me the best e-mail and she gave me permission to paraphrase and then post it here. She's been calling people in Indiana on behalf of Barack Obama. Mostly just leaving messages about where the message recipient can go to vote. Here is her story:


"So I called people in Indiana again today. Didn't get too many -- in
fact got lots of disconnected numbers. Must be dragging the bottom of
the barrel. Of the people who did answer here is the best conversation I had...

Woman on phone in Indiana: Well I voted already

Mom [in her head]: [she sounds so friendly I assume she means for Obama]

Woman: I gotta tell you... I don't go with that Obama

Mom [in her head]: [Oh no! I'm chatting up a McCain voter... my heart is breaking]

Woman : No... I don't usually go with that. And he really doesn't have any
experience.

Mom [ihh]: [Why argue with her... she's already voted.]

Woman: People say that and it's true. But you know what. You aren't born
with experience. No one is born with president tattooed on their
forehead. No, he'll get it. I had to go for him.

Mom [ihh]: [What IS she saying? She DIDN'T go for him, she DID go for him? Put me out of my
misery!]

Woman: I did. I voted for him. Usually I don't go for those kind of people. Well I never have. But you know. We can change. We can learn. NOW I'M STILL NOT FOR MIXING 'EM UP. NO NO NO, I DON'T GO FOR THAT. But I had to vote for him. I had to do it. We're in big trouble here. Well things aren't going to change overnight. But at least he'll get us going in the right direction. And you know what?! My neighbor voted for him too! We all did.
None of us had ever gone for one of them before... but we all voted for him."

My mom told me that is made her cry a little when she got off the phone.

We can change. We can learn.

I'm completely terrified. It's 6:45pm CST and so far McCain is up...I'm hopeful anyway.

We can change. We can learn. Just a few hours now. Don't forget to breath.